JUST THINKING

Tag: society

  • Navigating Life Changes: Embracing Transformation

    CHANGES, Changes, Changes, changes

    I had a friend many of you knew. He had a traveling ministry with a prophetic gift. After his teaching, he would begin to move through the expectant crowd with words of encouragement couched in prophecies.

    They would often come in the form of something he saw. I don’t know how many times he saw the peeling of an onion, but there were quite a few in the times I was with him.

    He would introduce that vision with the words, “Changes, changes, changes. I see changes for you…” He would often explain those changes, and the remarkable thing was that he was most often correct. The person would experience the things that had been spoken—sometimes years later—and they would remember the words he had spoken.

    If you’re like me, you are secretly laughing at the thought of predicting ‘change.’ How hard is that to do? We ALL go through changes in our life. The difference with his gift, though, was that he could articulate the particular changes.

    We can do that in hindsight. Also, with our knowledge of life, we can predict certain changes for others. The boy will lose his high-pitched voice and grow whiskers. The girl will lose her skinny frame and fill out to full womanhood.

    The problem I see, however, is how uncomfortable we are with change as we get older. We want—and apparently expect—everything to remain exactly as it is now.

    Change comes uninvited and unannounced, whether we like it or not.

    One day our knee begins hurting. One day a tooth needs to be removed. One day we look in the mirror and wonder why that old person is standing in front of us. One day, a friend who made life worth living is gone—without our permission.

    Change is so much a fact of life, that we have the cutesy saying—“the only constant in life is change.”

    How do we handle change? How do we respond to the sudden awakening to something that has been going on for some time? For many, they experience shock. Maybe we all do when we first notice the change. But, after that? How do we handle the effects of change in our being, our family, our society, our nation?

    I’ve learned that much of our ongoing suffering is directly related to how much we resist what is. There is much in our life and the world in which we live that we don’t like. The human tendency is to make sure anyone within earshot knows how much we don’t like something. We complain. Why? Why do we complain? What good does it do?

    I’ve watched as many of my friends develop an impotent rage against our government. I say ‘impotent’ because when I ask what can they do about it, the reality is “nothing.” It is what it is. Yet they continue to feed on their discontent all the while wondering why their body is causing them such pain. Are the two related?

    Maybe.

    A proverb states that “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” (Pro 14:30) The word ‘envy’ has to do with intensity of zeal or anger. When there is no release for this passion, dysfunction of the bodily systems sets in.

    If there is nothing you can do about that which upsets you, then why feed it? The opposite is a heart at peace—‘tranquil’—which gives life to the body.

    The point is—changes are a part of life. Shift happens. Resist that which you can change, or go with the flow with that which you cannot.

    Our attitude is not determined by circumstances, but by how we respond to those circumstances. Our minds determine our attitude. We can respond positively or negatively. It’s how we react to events, not the events themselves, that determine our attitude.

    There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes them so.
    (Shakespeare, Hamlet II, 2)

    Therefore, the only reasonable thing to do knowing that change will keep happening is to keep living, and learn to accept and learn from the changes in life.

  • Whatever Became of Personal Responsibility? How We Learned to Stop Blaming Ourselves

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  • Growing Up: Why Adult Behavior Mirrors Junior High

    Tom Brokaw once told a graduating class something startling and painfully accurate. At Emory’s 2005 commencement, he said:

    “Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2005 at Emory, real life is not college; real life is not high school. Here is a secret that no one has told you: Real life is junior high. The world that you’re about to enter is filled with junior high adolescent pettiness, pubescent rivalries, the insecurities of 13-year-olds, and the false bravado of 14-year-olds.”

    The truly sad thing about this 20-year-old observation is that nothing has changed. For the most part, the generation to which and of which Brokaw spoke have not outgrown their pubescence. This reality is at the heart of our society’s extreme, and sometimes violent polarization.

    We expect this sort of behavior from the kids as they begin to navigate their way through the world looking for something with which to define themselves. What we don’t expect is that this behavior continues throughout life. We expect adults to have outgrown their insecurities of the teenage years.

    You are probably shaking your head in agreement with me as you consider the world around you. While it is easy to see this immaturity in others and to decry our deplorable situation, the challenge is to do something about it.

    But, here’s the kicker—there is nothing you can do about it.

    People who have grown up with these attitudes have no desire to change. They are comfortable with who they are. More often than not, they don’t think they have a problem. One of the characteristics of the junior-high mentality is the inability to accept responsibility. Therefore, blaming is the only tool in their skillset.

    Blaming someone else—someone who has the same character as the one doing the blaming—will usually result in a heated argument. Those heated arguments end up with both sides mad at the other. Nothing is settled.

    The anger and bitterness is carried away and stored in the heart of the combatants while they mentally continue to blame the other. This mindset is at the root of our us/them mentality of modern society.

    We can see the problem.

    We can bemoan our societal condition.

    We can post pious platitudes hoping they will see and understand.

    We can continue this exercise in futility into eternity with the same results.

    There is only one thing which can be done, and it begins with you.

    Examine yourself.

    Do you respond or react when confronted with childish behavior from an adult? Is anger, frustration, retaliation the first to surface when you are accused of something? (Remember, blaming from one means that another is being accused.)